Self-introduction.

Dear Professor Blackstone,

My name is Cai Junhe. I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in green building and sustainability. Throughout my tertiary education, I have designed an energy efficient building model which further interests me to pursue a degree in sustainable infrastructure engineering (building services) in Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT). It was not a tough decision in choosing a suitable course as it has always been my passion to promote an eco-friendly environment in Singapore.

In the future, I would like to continue in this industry as an energy consultant. Hopefully, I am able to contribute to the efforts in making Singapore a more green and sustainable environment for our next generation.

Initiating a conversation to an individual or a group has always been a challenge. Due to my introverted personality, I would tend to shiver and stutter on my words which cause me to face difficulty in delivering the clarity of the message. Moreover, I tend to avoid initiating conversations which cause me to appear unapproachable.

In terms of effective communication, non-verbal communication such as hand gestures and body postures are vital. I am able to portray myself confidently as I possess good hand gestures and body postures for presentations even though I face difficulty in delivering the clarity of the message.

I believe constant rehearsing will boost my confidence in tackling the challenge of speaking in front of a large crowd. Moreover, I would like to prove to myself that personality is not a factor in making an effective presentation.

Best regards,
Junhe

-Edited 11/09/17
-Edited 13/09/17

Comments

  1. Hi Jun He,

    It's my pleasure to have you as my classmate in SIT and hope that we can get along well with each other throughout the whole course of study, no matter which modules we are taking.

    I have read through your blog and below are my comments with regards to your post:

    1. Paragraph 2 line 1
    "In the future. I would like to continue in this industry...." Wrong punctuation is used. It should be a comma after the word future.

    2. Paragraph 3 line 1
    "Due to my introvert personality,..." There is a word form error. As introvert is a noun, you should used it as an adjective, i.e introverted personality.


    3. Paragraph 3 line 2
    "...stutter on my words which causes me to face difficulty..." There is a subject-verb agreement error, the 'causes' should be 'cause' instead because you are writing in first person point of view, therefore there is no 's' at the back of the cause.

    4. Paragraph 3 line 3
    "...avoid initiating conversations which causes me..." same mistake as no.3, subject-verb agreement. i.e. "initiating conversations which cause me..."

    Overall, other than the minor mistakes as stated above, this blog is fine as I can clearly see the main points in each paragraph.

    Please feel free to correct me if I am wrong. Good job!

    Regards,
    Hong Yu

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Junhe,

    Thank you for this formal letter. I appreciate how you make a clear connection between your interest in the environment and SIE. You clearly have developed a strong social consciousness, which is admirable. You also explain openly your comm skills weakness and strength. Thanks for that. We will certainly work on these areas. What seems to be missing in this post is your specific goals for this term.

    There are also a few minor language issues to take note of:

    1) Throughout my tertiary education, I have designed an energy efficient building model.... >>>
    (wrong preposition & verb tense)
    During my tertiary education, I designed an energy efficient building model...

    2) >>> (subject verb disagreement)
    -- I tend to avoid initiating conversations which cause me...
    -- ...non-verbal communication such as hand gestures and body postures are vital....

    3) delivering the clarity of the message >>> ?

    In any case, I appreciate your effort and look forward to reading more of your writing.

    Brad


    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Jun He,

    Your fellow groupmate here and it's a pleasure knowing you. Glad to know i'm not the only one having trouble initiating conversations thus appearing unapproachable. I have read through your blog and below are my personal opinions.

    " Hopefully, I am able to contribute to the efforts in making Singapore a more green and sustainable environment", i think that instead of more green, it should be greener.

    In paragraph 3 "which cause me to face difficulty in delivering the clarity of the message." , i think that it should be which cause me to face difficulty in delivering the message with clarity.

    Above is just my two cents, i might be the one who's wrong.

    Cheers,
    Zhouzhi

    c

    ReplyDelete

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